Geography Lesson

I was hoping to get this down while the incident was fresh to capture the raw emotion at the time. 

I knew that being a parent wasn't always easy or all fun and games.  At the outset, I overly romanticized becoming and being a mother.  Dressing your baby in cute outfits, clever portraits, play dates, reading books at bedtime, watching your lovely little one in a school play or concert and sweet birthday parties are some of things we look forward to when we choose to start a family.  And those are the fun times we can all enjoy ... while they are small.

What I never really considered were the difficult issus of raising my children that can either cause me to want to pull out my hair or bring me to tears.  I cried when each of my children were placed in my arms for the first time. I cried when they were dedicated at church.  I cried when they started school.  All joyful times, but I also cried when they were sick and I couldn't help them.  I cried when they were hurt by another child.  I cried out of frustration over sleeping and potty training.  And now that they are growing older, we are trading small child issues with big kid issues.  I'm finding that it's so much easier to take care of a baby than to parent a tween and emerging teen.

Case in point:  (Oh how to choose just one!)  The Geography Bee. 

A few weeks ago, shortly after returning to school from winter break (or was it before going on winter break?), my oldest daughter came running home from school yelling about the geography bee.  When she had calmed down enough to adequately explain, I discovered that she was competing in the school's geography bee which is like a spelling bee only with geography questions instead of spelling words.  She and her younger sister had already turned down the spellling be because they don't care to stand up in front of people and "perform."

So, I was rather surprised that she had A. joined the geography bee in the first place and B. that she was so darn excited about the thing.  How it works is the students in the upper two grades are given a geography test of about 40 questions.  The students that answer a certain portion of questions correctly are then able to participate in the official geography bee.  My daughter claimed she only got one question correct on the test, but judging by the number of students that took the test vs. the proportion of students in the bee, I think she must have gotten more than one correct.

In any event, we were on our way.  She had a letter of congratulations and a sheet of links with which to help her study.  She took a half-hearted stab at studying the first couple of weeks.  To be honest, I was a little overwhelmed with the the information as it seemd so limitless.   I also didn't know the format of the bee.  I thought they would ask the students open-ended questions which would be difficult to answer.

I suggested my daughter ask the teachers in charge for some clarification on studying but she was too shy.  After a couple weeks she decided she wanted to quit.  This was the second child wanting to quit something in the middle.  In her defense, I think if her teacher asked did she want to be in the bee she'd say no.  She claimed they just expected the kids to be in it that passed the test.  I'm thinking she was probably given an opportunity to opt out which she missed due to not paying attention.  I considered her request and then told her she had to finish it out.  She was not happy.

Before we knew it, the bee was in two weeks. Lots of studying to be done.  Madison was getting really antsy about getting up in front of people and being embarasssed about not knowing an answer.  I tried to reassure her that the questions would be grade appropriate and not all the kids would know the answers.  She wouldn't be the only one not able to answer a question. I encouraged her to study as much as possible and just do the best she could. That was all that was expected of her.   These affirmations did little to reassure her, however.  I was feeling a bit guilty that I was causing her grief, but my general feeling is if you start something you should finish.  Even when it's more difficult on me to continue than let them quit.

Finally, the day arrived.  Madison was a complete nervous nelly, and I couldn't blame her.  I gave her hugs and affirmations and sent her on her way.  After she walked on the bus I had a bit of hindsight in that I should have prayed with her.  As it was, I prayed after she left for her and all the children participating.  Lucky for me, the parents were invited to attend later in the afternoon, and I was looking forward to that.

The bee participants began to trickle in and take their places on the stage.  Of the other three or four sets of parents that attended the bee, two sets were parents of Madison's friends.  I anxiously awaited Madison's arrival.  Finally she came in the gym, ran over to my chair and burst into tears.  It still makes me cry when I think about it.  She was so sad and upset and nervous and seeing me, she just couldn't hold it in any longer.  I can't even adequately express how she felt but I just melted. 

I hugged her and told her how smart she is.  I reaffirmed that she is a strong person and can do this, even though it's hard.  I also reminded her that she can take a pass if she doesn't know a question, but to try and at least give some answer and also that she will not be the only one to miss a question.  She finally collected herself and slowly went up on stage.  I sat in my seat, holding my nephew and hugging her coat trying not to cry.  What kind of mom was I to make my kid do something that was so upsetting to her?  On one level I felt like the worst mom ever. 

One of Madison's friends comforted her before they went up on stage and it reminded me of what nice friends she has.  Then that friend's mom came over and asked if Madison was crying.  That did it.  I burst into tears myself.  Now I really felt foolish but I really was feeling awful that Madison was so upset.  I explained it to her and collected myself.  Madison collected herself and the teachers got the geography bee under way.

The format began as multiple choice.  Excellent!  You get a one in three chance of getting the right answer ;)  Madison answered her first two questions correctly and I cheered her on!  I could see she was nervous but I could also see the pride and joy on her face when she answered the question properly.  I could see her relax and not lose it when she didn't get the right answer.  I chuckled at the boy who, despite his best efforts to not do well, got upset when he answered questions correctly and cheered when he answered them incorrectly.  Unfortunately, I did not get to see the last round of the bee.  Ultimately, Madison did not make it to the finals but that's okay.  In my mind, Madison had already "won" when she walked up, took her place on stage and answered the first question.

I knew when I became a mom that I would have lots of things to teach my children, but I never really stopped to consider what I might learn from my them.  And I do learn a lot!  Madison and I learned a lot from this geography bee, but the most important thing we both learned was not geography. 

I learned how hard it is to encourage your children to do the right thing, especially when it's difficult or scary.  I know that as heartfelt as my tears were and the depth of the guilt I felt at making my child cry, it was the right thing to do as a parent.  Sure, it was only a geography bee and so what if she quit?  But what does that teach her overall?  It doesn't teach her to stick with something, even when it's hard, i.e. perserverence.  It doesn't teach her that she's responsible for her actions and they affect other people, i.e. dependability.  Letting her quit doesn't teach her that she's a strong and smart individual and she can do what she sets her mind to do.  Letting her quit doesn't teach her that she's brave to face down her fears and come out at the conclusion smiling and proud to have done her best.  In addition to learning those things, I hope by encouraging her to continue, she learned that no matter what she can depend on her parents.  We work together and we support her.  And in the middle of all that, she did learn some geography.

Elves on Shelves

It appears that some Christmas magic has reappeared in our home.  Many years ago, Santa was spoiled when my children were still young and they were told Santa was not "real."  I was so sad that this magical time was ruined; not just for them but for their future siblings, as well.  As it turns out, three of the four no longer believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the like.  I know that someday we all figure out that there is no man who shimmies down the chimney or fairy that slips under the pillow to leave treats and surprises.  So, it wasn't necessarily the loss of Santa that grieved me but the loss of the magic of Christmas.  A five-year old doesn't understand the "spirit" of Christmas.  Plus, they then spoil it for future little sisters long before it's time.

On the bright side, I no longer had to worry about hiding wrapped presents or explaining why the handwriting or wrapping paper Santa uses matches mine.  I didn't have to decide which presents came from Santa and which came from me.  I no longer felt "jealous" that they like Santa's gifts better than the ones I gave them.  I can wrap the presents and put them under the tree right away.  The downside is I cannot use Santa as a motivation to "be good" either.  It just doesn't work LOL!  We still talk about Santa, enjoy the shows on TV and visit Santa at the mall. 

Last year I read about an elf on the shelf that reports back to Santa if you've been naughty or nice.  I wasn't sure I wanted to spend the money on something that really wasn't going to be useful for a long period of time.  It wasn't on the radar much and the holiday season passed without much thought to the creepy little elf.  Fast forward a year.

It seems that the devilish little elf has returned in a big way.  We've seen him everywhere:  Facebook, the card stores, Target, friends have it and there's even one at my daughter's preschool.  He's making a huge comeback, but I have found many friends who don't even know what I'm talking about.  My SIL hates the thing and sent me a link to a blog about hating the elf.  I skipped that one.  I felt like I was being judged, especially when she told her kid that only BAD kids got the elf, when he asked for one. 

There was a cartoon on about the elf recently which my children watched and thus became enamoured with this little elf that reports whether you've been naughty or nice to Santa each night .  It was all they talked about for several days, and in the end I broke down and bought the darn thing.  It came with a wiry, plushy-type elf with no feet and a lovely hardcover book. I think it's severely overpriced but, hey, I bought it anyway.

The premise of the elf is you adopt him and set him somewhere in your home.  He stays in that spot all day recording his observations and then magically flies back to the North Pole each night to give a report to Santa.  Then he flies back and finds a new spot to sit in your home which the children will find the next day when they wake up.  I thought it was a cute way to talk about the magic of Christmas and have a little hide and seek fun during the holidays.

I came home and put the box under the tree so the kids could find it the next day, which they did.  We opened the box and discovered the elf had already left the box.  Since he's supposed to hide in the first place, this was rather creepy.  No one admitted to taking the elf out and hiding him somewhere.  Already we had elf issues.  I returned the box to the store, I mean elf adoption center, and we were given a new one.

After the kids got home from school, we took him out, read the story, chose a name and visited the elf website.  His name was Twinkle.  Then the next day we changed it to Jingles which seemed to suit him better.  I put Jingles on a candle on the TV stand.  The girls seemed a little skittish with the elf while their brother shook his head at all of it.  Did I mention he has no feet?

As bedtime got closer, the tension ramped up a great deal.  It turns out the girls thought that he would hide and jump out to scare them or do some other nefarious things to frighten them like sneak in their room while they were sleeping.  This was a big deal at bedtime.  I mean HUGE!  Oh, the drama of little girls.  They were quite frightened.  I'll admit that he looks a little odd what with his no feet, skinny legs and eyes that don't really look straight ahead but off to the side.  But they are big blue eyes and a little smile to look happy.  All I heard for days was how much they wanted an elf like their friends and now they were scared.  Make that petrified.

We ended up with two little bodies in our bed that night.  I figured we'd just move them after they fell asleep.  Eventually, they fell asleep but woke up frequently worried about the elf.  I promised he'd stay downstairs and not come upstairs.  The bed was very crowded and no one got any sleep that night.  For children who don't believe in Santa, they sure did attribute quite a lot of power to a stuffed elf.  At one point the littlest one woke up thinking she saw him on the dresser, actually pointing, looking and trembling in fear.  I finally got her back to sleep but vowed that darn elf was going back to the store.  It was a long sleepless night.

The elf did find a new spot to sit after that night.  The girls, seemingly excited, ran down the stairs to see if Jingles was still there.  And there he sat -- in the Christmas tree!  They were so excited, yelling and pointing.  They weren't sure what to make of it or if we should keep it.  I had promised them and my husband I would take it back to the store, but I did not have time to make a trip to the store that day. 

Last night we had some discussion about what to do about the elf.  Santa has given the elf rules he has to follow so I suggested we tell the elf to talk to Santa about staying on the main floor of the house.  They seemed more open to keeping Jingles so I decided to follow their lead.  This morning they got right up and ran down the stairs to find the elf on top of the Manger with baby Jesus.  The girls thought this was hysterical!  They were laughing and going around telling everyone where they found Jingles. 

Along with Jingles was a note from Santa explaining that Jingles was a really nice elf who didn't wish to scare anyone.  The rules include that no elf is allowed to leave the main floor, go in any bedrooms or bathrooms.  The only comment my oldest daughter had about the note was that she liked the font Santa used.  I find this quite funny. The girls seemed okay with that today, so I will continue to follow their lead. 

I'm excited that we are keeping the elf.  For now.  While it's probably only a couple-year tradition here, it's brought back some of the magic of the holiday.  Whether or not they believe the elf can really go visit Santa or move about the house, it looks like it's going to be a fun and magical game that we can enjoy together.   They grow up too fast and I want to hold onto that magical innocence that only children have for as long as possible.

Now, where will we find the elf tomorrow ...?

A Perfect Pattern

I redesigned my blog recently.  Still unsure if I like it.  If not, I'll change it again!

I've been on the hunt for the "perfect" knitting bag.  Something that looks sophisticated but somewhat girly, sturdy enough that the needles won't poke through and large enough to holder some bigger projects/longer needles.

My first inclination was to make a felted knitting bag ... perfect!  I've been searching out patterns here and there and saving them but felting is a still a bit scary to me.  I'm still working on sock #1 I started at least a month ago. 

A while ago I was out and saw the perfect tote bag.  I want to say it was handmade but I'm not really sure.  It was a nice shape with three different fabric patterns that I could see.  One main patterned fabric for the body of the bag, a matching solid for the bottom quarter or so of the bag and then a coordinating trim that ran along where the two different fabrics met.  I figured it looked somewhat easy to make for a mostly novice sewer.

I have been searching high and low for the perfect pattern.  My gripes are links that links that link to links ad infitium and the links that lead to sites that are just talking about tote bags.  How disappointing to find a picture of the perfect bag only to find out there's really not a pattern, just a blog talking about totes. 

Tonight I stumbled across several patterns I thought might work.  I'll probably check a couple more sites and perhaps the patterns at JoAnn's (although I prefer free!) before selecting a pattern and purchasing my fabric.  I'm excited about sewing again since I made my dinner-table napkins.  I'm very much task oriented and enjoy seeing a finished project. 

I had a design in my head that involved black toile with coordinating fabrics but I can't recall exactly what I was going to do now.  I'll probably just browse the fabric aisles at the store and see what inspires me at the time.  I am looking forward to having a nicer bag to tote my knitting around. 

A Tribute

Way back when, when I was a tween before there was even a term "tween," my mom met a man. I had  turbulent upbringing so this man wasn't necessarily as welcome as I would have wanted.  But what did I know, I was a kid.  What began as a rocky relationship turned into the father-daughter relationship I had never had.

I have so many memories at this point.  The many times he intervened on my behalf between disagreements and overly harsh punishments from my mom, eating dinner in the car while my mom drove to visit him at his place, the crazy curly perm, playing pool, when he tried to teach me to drive my mom's stick-shift truck and I jumped the curb in front of my high school and dug up the grass for all to see.  The trips down the back roads of NC to visit my grandparents, quitting smoking by putting down the cigs one day and never looking back, walking me down the aisle when I got married. 

So many memories, so little time to make more.  The type of memories you mostly stop and consider when the person you're remembering is no longer around.  I'm sad to say my stepdad died 8/13/10.  Way too soon, way too soon.  I still find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that I'll never speak to him on this earth again. 

Every time I hear the word "kiddo" I think of him as that was always the first thing he said to me: "Hey, Kiddo!"  Some other select phrases I remember growing up; "Between the A & the T," "You make a better door than a window," "You been drinking muddy water," and the various comments about singing with the commercial jingles.  It rankled him to no end how many television commercials I could recite verbatum!

The last thing he did for my family was send the kids some things in the mail.  My older two received adventure books for girls and boys, respectively.  He also send National Geo to my son and the younger version to my other daughters.  It's strange to get the subscriptions in the mail but a wonderful reminder each month that even though I didn't keep in touch as often as I should that we still had a special place in his heart. 

In that vein, I recently ran across a card he sent my husband 11 years ago on my husband's very first father's day.  It was a pure fluke I even found it but my stepdad wrote a most meaningful message to my husband.  I don't know if I knew about the card and message at the time but it meant more to me than ever to read the words he wrote, especially now.  And it reminds me that no matter his laid back attitude, my stepdad was such a multi-layered man with so many more talents than he let on. 

So, I'm sharing his message here as a tribute to a fine father figure who, more than anything else, he LOVED his children.

Darrin,
     On the occasion of your 1st Father's Day, I thought that I would tell you a little about my Dad.

     My Dad wasn't an athlete or race driver, he wasn't a great hunter or fisherman.  He was just a regular guy who worked hard and loved his family.  He taught me to ride a bike, and to catch a ball.  He came to every Little League game, even though I was the worst player on the team. He took me to Saturday matinees of "Tarzan" and "The Crimson Pirate," and he was alway[s] "there" for me.  He was, I believe, the finest man that I have ever known.  He taught me how to be a man, not by what he said, but by what he did, and by who he was.

     Many people take ther[sic] father for granted, because they have always had them, but for those of us like me and Matthew, who started out without one, a Dad is a truly special person.  You can spot a Dad by the way his eyes "lite-up" when his children come into the room.  I always saw that lite in my Dad's eyes, and I see it in yours when your [sic] with Matthew.

     I've always thought that you are a great son-in-law, i'm sure that your [sic] a great Dad, and I think Matthew will be as proud of his Dad, as i am of mine.

                                                                                 HAPPY FATHERS DAY
                                     
                                                                                               Jim

My heart kind of hurts at all I've missed over the past few years while busy raising my children and not tending to my own family relationships.  But overall I know that my stepdad loved me like his own all these years no matter what.  I did get an opportunity to speak with him a couple weeks or so before he died and I feel blessed that we had that time together, however brief. 

RIP Jimbo.  I miss you more every day. 

Have to laugh ...

found my way back here after a long hiatus. Guess you could say the knitting bug took over me! I've gone way beyond a couple sets of needles and couple balls of cotton yarn. I have what is considered a STASH! and find myself consumed by all things knitting on a daily basis.

That said, the Sheep and Wool (or Sheep and Wolf as my kids say) Festival is the first weekend in May. My SIL and I are going, sans kids, and I can't wait to really get my hands on some product. I have a new appreciation of the festival as a knitter and think I will get some much more out of it than previous years. EVery day I contemplate which project I should focus on: a baby blanket for my nephew due in the fall, some felting wood to make a felted knitting bag (and work a new technique) or the hooded scarf, which I also covet.

I need to set myself a budget and project/s. I'm thinking maybe the blanket and scarf. However, after working some personal cloths from a Purl Bee pattern, using a chunky bamboo blend, I'm thinking this would be a wonderful wool to use but rather pricey. Lots of thinking to do on that one. So just a small update because I thought it was funny how far I've fallen in such a short period of time ... not even a year.

OH and if you happen by the festival, be sure and stop by my friend's shop: Cloverhill Yarn Shop. Last year they were in the large exhibit hall. Wonderful vendor with lovely products :)

Knit 1, Purl 2

My newest endeavor this summer was learning to knit. I thought it might be fun for Madison to learn to keep her hands busy. One Sunday my SIL came over and we traded craft assistance. I helped her make a stepping stone (that my 2-year old promptly destroyed necessitating a do-over) and she taught us how to knit.

I didn't intend to learn but thought if I learned also I could help Madison if she needed help. My SIL cast on for each of us and I was hooked, instantly! I LOVE knitting. It's very soothing and appeals to the task/goal-oriented side of my brain. Plus, I can pick it up and put it down as needed, unlike using the sewing machine.

I spent two weeks practicing on a ball of yarn until it was almost gone. Mentally I lined up two projects; dish cloths for myself and a gift for someone else. Since my SIL wasn't available at 10p to help me with a pattern, I turned to Ravelry.com to look for free patterns. SIL was kind enough to send me the link to this website. It's great! I even downloaded Ewe Stash app on my iPhone to keep track of my stuff! I told you I was hooked!

So, now I have two sets of needles, 5 balls of new yarn and projects in my head. I checked out about 20 books trying to figure out how to cast on since I taught myself to cast off. I couldn't get the casting on to save my life. I turned to the internet hoping there would be a self-help somewhere and I found one! I figured out what I was doing wrong when casting on and managed to figure it out. Go me!

So, my first project is now complete. I think it took almost a week. I can't remember which day I started it but I finished it this morning. I had to refigure out how to cast off. I used Bernat Cotn Corn yarn in a Peach Tree ombre. It's very pretty peaches, tans and browns and *very* soft. I'd love to make a scarf or something with something similar. I chose this over my cotton yarn because it was softer but that also made it difficult to work with. It was very splitty.

So my final work is not perfect by any stretch of the means, but since it's just a dishcloth not that big of a deal. I can't wait to start the next one. That will be my practice to get ready for the gift I'm making. I bought my SIL a book for Christmas last year called Mason Dixon Knitting or something like that. It didn't appeal to me at the time but I think I'd like to read it now. I also want to crochet some little animals, shapes and knit some bean bags for the kids. One of the kids' knitting books had a project for making your own knitting needles and I think if Madison sticks with it, I'll make her some for Christmas. I LOVE my bamboo knitting needles from JoAnn's. They are nice to work with, smooth and feel nice in my hands. I love how the ends got smoother and shiney as I worked the yarn. Can't wait to get to Cloverhill Yarn store one of these days!

Guess I'd better do some chores and take care of some kids before I start my next project! Perhaps I should also brush my teeth.

Spring come now

Signs of Spring --

Flocking geese honking their song
Little Robin Red Breast hopping about
Forsythia slowing unveiling it's beautiful golden show
Pussywillows unfurling their soft little buds
Enough sunshine left in the day to take an after-supper stroll.

Spring -- we welcome you back!